Dichotomy. What a strange-looking word. Why does the English language even bother with these so-far-from-phonetic-sounding words? The American Heritage Dictionary defines dichotomy as the "division into two usually contradictory parts or opinions". It comes from the Greek word dichotomía which literally translates: "dividing in two." So when it came to thinking of what to call my blog—finding the word that related to literally every area of my life—dichotomy seemed the obvious choice... Ok, so maybe not that obvious. Let me explain.

Faith. Relationships. Motherhood. Money. Purpose. Everyday, these are a few of the major themes that make their way through my thoughts. Highs and lows. Optimisms and worries. I'm sure that if you have a pulse, you deal with two or more of these areas on the regular. Dichotomy is a double-edged sword when it comes to each of those areas. Not only is dichotomy about how we feel and think while we are pondering on such subjects, but it is also about the inward struggle we host while actually living through these spheres of life—the stark contrasts that make us all sometimes question our sanity. The thing is, when the word is used in a generic sense, the two opposing sides are usually clearly defined. Light vs. darkness. Good vs. evil. Simplicity vs. complexity. Dichotomy is often used to provide clarity—to shed light and make sense out of the two opposites. In this case—in the case of the heart, the mind, emotions—it is a little more ambiguous. This inner dichotomy leaves me confused as to how I can possibly house conflicting feelings, thoughts, words, potential actions. How do I feel so hopeful and so hopeless at the same time? Why is it that when I finally get a chance to talk to a friend about a dispute that we had ages ago, my temperamental emotions throw a wrench into my calm, memorized speech that I had planned for weeks? I want to do the right thing, I really do! But what is right? And when I decided to do the “right thing” five minutes ago, did I really take into consideration all the reasons why I would be totally justified if I chose to do the wrong thing? I want to forgive my husband after he apologizes for the way he spoke to me, but if I tell him that, then won't I be giving up power and control? Duality. The divide. Dichotomy.

So as I write my way through this journey of Her Dichotomy, I plan to talk about life. This is a different type of "lifestyle blog." This is an “inner-life style blog.” I aim to share my heart, my thoughts, the worst-kept secret that is dichotomy, its influence on my life, and the daily battle I fight while it serves as a handicap, attempting to influence every move I make. But this is not negative, people. It is awesome! It is edifying! It is illuminating! Identifying our humanity and sharing how it affects our lives—through that transparency—we each are able to encourage one another and lift each other up in the victory that is attainable. We all struggle, we all grapple with hardships and defeat. But in the end—whether we know it or not—we win. We find the bridge that traverses "the divide" and come up on the other side, yes, with scratches and bruises... but whole.